You Are Enough.

Look at me, all blogging a few days later! Kinda proud of myself.

Can I just say something?

It's ok to love yourself, just as you are.

Today's world wants to tell you that you aren't good enough. You're not enough. It doesn't matter what you are, the world wants to tell you that you aren't good enough. You're too short, too fat, too opinionated, too strong, too weak, too slow, too fast, too much or too little of everything.

Fuck that.


You're enough. You are SO enough. Don't let them in; don't let the world dictate whether you are good enough or not. Are you kind? Are you hardworking? Are you working every day to better yourself?

Then you're enough, end of story. It's ok to love your thick thighs, or loud mouth, or crazy hair. It's ok to be proud of your flat stomach that you've worked hard for, and love your big or little boobs. It's ok to BE OK WITH WHO YOU ARE. It's ok if you're dedicated to your health and working out. It's ok if you're not. It's ok if you're proud of your degree - or if you're proud of the path you took instead. It's ok to be proud of being a young mama, or be proud of waiting until you felt it was right. It's ok to be absolutely imperfect and have not a single plan to fix it - because perfect is boring. Perfect is cookie-cutter, and this world has enough cutouts!

It's ok to not buy into this world's crazy obsession with working out and crazy diets and being a size zero with a 2% body fat. It's ok to refuse the fat-shaming society we've created, and it's ok to stand up and say so.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. You are getting there, wherever you're headed, whatever you're working towards. YOU ARE WORTHY OF SEEING, AND OF ADMIRING. Your flat abs are a testament to your dedication, and your killer cheesecake recipe is a testament to your love of creating.

You are enough. I promise. Ignore the rest of the world.

What Six Years Look Like

Wow, I was just thinking about starting a new blog, and I rediscovered this one - I thought it was lost.

What do six years look like?

Six years look like a new profession, one that I never intended to be in but discovered myself in. I started working in the affordable housing development business in August 2010, moved to Gillette, and life has been a crazy run since then. I started as the Assistant Property Manager for the Gillette properties, was promoted to Property Manager in June 2011, and to Compliance Manager for our entire five state, 1200+ portfolio in November 2014. It's been a whirlwind ride I never expected to be on! I really do love it.

Six years look like I went from having babies to having a teenager and two smalls and holy cow how they have changed. No one tells you that when you have a teenager that there will be days you want to alternately douse them with cold water and shake them until they make sense. On the other hand, watching your kiddos turn into kind, determined young adults with dreams of their own is also incredibly satisfying (and mind-blowing). All of the kids have really grown into themselves and are people that I am so proud to know! Dramatic? Yes. Assholes some days? YEP! But they are kind people, smart people, and people who are unafraid to be themselves, and that's what I want for them more than anything else. I know many parents dream of their kids being doctors, or lawyers, or President of the United States....what I dream about is for my kiddos to be happy, more than anything. Happy, in a life that satisfies them. Kind to themselves and others. Unafraid to dream the big dreams or the small-to-the-world, big-to-them-dreams.

Six years look like I went from living with my mom to running my own household. This seems like such a natural step, and it is, but such a scary one. When the ex and I split, living with my mom saved my sanity - she was the other parent that was missing for a long time. Then I decided I was going to move cross-state for my job, and holy cow, talk about jumping into the deep end of the pool. I remember my mom and I having raging fights before I moved, because she was so scared for me. But you know what? It was scary, and it was such a risk...but it was right. The kids and I formed back into our family, moved forward, and I went from living with my mom to supporting us all on my own all the time and it was SO good for all of us. I'm so proud of where we came from and where we are at now - the hard work and long nights and stress were so worth it.

Six years look like I found where I belong. Grable is a phenomenal partner and step-dad, and while I understand that our groove doesn't make sense to most other people, it works for us. It just works for us. It was terrifying walking back into a relationship after everything that happened at the end of the last one, and I know he felt the same way.....but we've worked it out step every step of the way. I have an amazing partner, wonderful kids and a job I love.

The road less taken? Totally worth it.

Peace out, I'll be back at some point. Or I won't, and six years from now, I'll discover this again and it'll be like a little note I've sent myself.

Note to future self : you're still doing awesome. Quit being so mean to yourself.